It's 8 A.M. which means it is prime time to be scarfing down a delicious double cheeseburger from the Sunny Day Cafe, right? Apparently, that is the 'special' today. In the hour I have been on campus, sitting in this tiny glass room, off the far end of the CADE building, I have had the pleasure of having two young men start conversation with me. The first, a slightly chubby Asian man (yes they do come in large, look at PSY) and the skinniest pimple faced white boy I've seen. This had to be documented, I believe if you're eating double cheeseburgers at 8 A.M. it explains a lot as to why you're chubby or look like you are one of Jupiter's moons but I digress. The reason this is going into this blog is the exchange between chunky Asian and Crater face.
Crater Face: (to me) " I love your hat, erm hoodie."
Me: "It's a hat and thanks." *squeeks the squeekers*
CF: "OH MY CHRIST. THAT'S AWESOME."
Me: -Silence-
CF sits and starts to pray before turns to Chunky Asian (CA from here out) as he picks up his burger and CA picks up his.
CF: "Burger twins!"
CA: -Blank stare-
CF: *mouth full of burger* "Do you know Matt?"
CA: -shifts eyes and munches- "Umm...No."
CF: *mouth full again* "Ah, you look like this guy I know and he's friends with Matt. Anyway, Awesome bugrer huh?"
CA: -grows silent- *makes a look as if he's about to talk and doesn't*
Silence ensues the room as I try hard not to cry, it isn't long before CF starts to pray again before pulling out a piece of paper and feverishly scribbling. Standing he stares at CA waiting to see if there is a reaction, there is and he attacks handing CA the paper and sitting with him beginning to ask him questions about STL and Firewalls. Starting into a long story about how NSA had a breach in security recently and it made him paranoid so he didn't want people getting into his computer so he's trying to create a more secure way to protect his computer because he is scared that people will steal his term papers or break into his computer. He's now into a conversation about how the Scientology movement funded a take down of hospital computers and now they are messing with peoples lives. Talk of 4x encryption hidden behind a 2x encryption and in depth conversations about Windows 32 files and exe's and how windows is built and how one can easily get around the inside of Windows OS. Since he placed a random character into his code, he doesn't have to worry about it but whoever will hack his computer will need to know the character to get in. Since Windows computer's can't run anything that's not standard. Obviously this is only bits and pieces, he has some really good points but his delivery is crazy.
He's now talking about trying to get a job at NSA.
CA looks so uncomfortable as CF rants now about the fact that he broke his back in high-school and he's now seen as a liability in government jobs. I understand now, he's in school for Cyber Security. THIS KID IS TALKING ABOUT HE WAS IN ANONYMOUS IN THE 7TH GRADE.
I tap. Man down, MAN DOWN. Their interaction just keeps taking turns deeper and deeper into insanity. This kid, this fucking kid, prime example of insanity. He's now talking to CA about Hirigana, Katakana and Kanji as if CA is Japanese. Asking him how to write out Kanji for things and CA is looking at him with this blank look trying to be polite and looking over at me periodically as I die laughing. The help me look in his eyes fuels my laughter that much more.
And now the conversation has turned to Death and how his father (who he didn't know) died in Jail and how so many close to him have died that death does not phase him anymore because he knows his god will make his transition painless.
-end transmission-
I can no longer handle watching them. I need to retreat, the air is becoming too...weird for me in here. I got so distracted with double cheeseburgers, I almost forgot about fat pants.
In fact it can't even touch Cheeseburgers, so I will leave fat pants with this.
If you are over 300 lbs and ride around on a scooter. It is not okay, NOT OKAY AT ALL, to be wearing Uggs, hot pink spandex leggings and a long t-shirt (which on you isn't very long...).
It's in a classroom right now, if I manage to get a picture I'll update this post again.
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